Why is time going so slow? Why does it seem like the clock is moving backwards. I don’t know how I am going to get through the dreaded two week wait. I have done it before. 5 other times to be exact.
We have a trip to Atlanta planned for this weekend so hopefully that will speed up the clock a bit.
Of course that hasn’t stopped me from obsessing about every symptom I experience or don’t experience. The presence of my little embryo is never NOT on my mind. Not for one second have I forgot the possibility that I might be pregnant….or worse, that I might not be pregnant. Sometimes I think: Of course I’m pregnant. And at other times I think: I could never be so lucky.
The truth is I don’t know. And all the symptom Googling in the world isn’t going to help me know until I take that pregnancy test on next Friday.
I see a lot of TV, books, and calming tea in my future.
Its here! The day is finally here. Today we transferred one B4 embryo. So technically if we were to go compare your embryo to a fruit, it would be the size of a poppyseed. There were a lot of emotions as we have never again gotten this close to having a child. The procedure was minimal. I had been through several others when were still on the IUI track. The difference with this one, was that it had an ultrasound that went with it. We could actually see the embryo being inserted. It was just a tiny white dot, but it was there and of course hormones and all, I cried. Officially there is a bun in the oven. Now lets just hope that the oven is on and just this one, the dough sticks to the pan!
Today was also the day we told everyone what was going on. Most of our friends and family knew but now, its out there. The amount of love and support we are getting is overwhelming and so needed in a time like this. Now to settle in for the dreaded two week wait. Only two weeks til we find out if we are going from two to three!
May 28, 2011 – Married
September 2012 – Started Trying to Conceive
September 2012 – January 2014 – No Luck Conceiving on our own. Made appointment with OBGYN to run some tests.
January 2014 – Blood Test and Sperm tests were all normal.
February 2014 – Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) X-Ray showed no blockages
February 2014 – Decided to try Intrauterine Insemination: IUI
March 12, 2014 – First IUI – Failed
April 12, 2014 – Second IUI – Failed
May 2014 – Decided to take a month off to relax and regroup
June 16, 2014 – Third IUI – Failed
June 2014 – Had Initial Appointment with Brown Fertility and decided to try two more IUIs with different medication and more monitoring via ultrasound.
July 17, 2014 – Fourth IUI – Failed
August 4, 2014 – Had an Appointment with Dr. Brown about next step if final IUI didn’t work. He suggested IVF
August 14, 2014 – Fifth IUI – Failed
September 2014 – Made decision to proceed with IVF
Its been a long journey, for both Ben and I. We thought it would be easy and we could never imagine this road would be winding, bumpy, and very long. Its been 2 and a half years and there is still no answers or little bundle of joy taking over our home.
When it became clear that IVF was our best bet for conceiving, I went through a number of emotional reactions — scared, sad, optimistic, overwhelmed, eager, nervous, and then through all of them all over again. (And this was before I actually started taking hormones!) I, like many women, have had friends and family struggle with fertility issues and I have heard both the heartbreaking and happy endings. So I tried my best to buckle up and hit this thing head-on, hoping for the best.
Additionally, I was starting to notice that when I did tell friends or colleagues about the treatments, I often found myself whispering. As if “IVF” was something to be ashamed of rather than an increasingly common way many couples are conceiving. Sure, it’s not glamorous. It’s painful and expensive, and occasionally causes me to act like a hormonal rage monster. But it’s also a wonderful, amazing, life-changing medical advancement that has the ability to bring so much joy to so many families and this is our story.